A couple of weeks ago Frank and I went out to dinner and then over to a friend's house afterwards. It was easily 9:30 when we got there and their five year old was still up. The first thirty minutes were quite pleasant and then they (the other couple) decided to call their little darling in to the room.
Now, let me just stop and say that I grew up babysitting. LOVED to babysit. I worked as a mother's helper one summer, I adore my nieces and nephews. I have worked for years in the church nursery, I was in charge of the children's ministry portion of MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) and even worked as a childcare worker for them. I like kids.
I do, however, have an issue when people refuse to discipline their children in any way, shape or form and believe that the whole world must love their child like they do. As a parent, I have been accused of being the opposite of that - I love my boys but don't feel the need to inflict them on everyone that I know and when we have company over and the adults are hanging out, my children are not to be seen. It sounds harsh to some but that is what we do. When I was growing up, my sister and I stayed upstairs and out of sight when our parents had company. We did not accompany them on every outing and when we went to other people's homes, we actually were put to BED there - so that we weren't a nuisance to anyone.
My in-laws did the same thing, apparently. There is a time and place for parents and children to be together and then there are times when it is GROWN UP time and little people should go to bed.
This would be a completely new concept to the couple whose house we were at.
After making Frank and I play some sort of fishing game with their child AND watching her sing and dance (did I mention that we were on a kid-free night?), we tried to get the grown up conversation back on track but now the child wanted to continue being the center of the universe and turned on the TV (loudly) and expected us to all shut up while she watched Hannah Montana. Seriously?
Frank and his buddy went upstairs to check out some music so that left us gals in the living room with this holy terror. She alternated between kicking a step stool around the kitchen to pulling her mother's hair while NOT speaking. When her mother asked her what was the matter, the child replied (in her best pouty Shirley Temple-esque voice) "You don't wanna play with your baby!"
I only wish that I was joking.
So her mother told her that they had company and she needed to behave and the child said "Well when are they leaving? They've been here all night!" At this point it is well after eleven and I'm thinking "Why is this FIVE YEAR OLD still awake??"
I finally rounded Frank up and we were walking out the door around midnight - and yes, the child was STILL up - and when we got in the car I turned to him and was like "Never again! That kid is a deal breaker!" I mean, I like this couple but I will never hang out with them at their home or with their kid again.
It's a shame, really, because I really do like them. But on a night out without our own kids, I don't want to play with somebody else's! And bad manners, parents, to keep your little brat up that late! Sadly, this is not the first time we've had issues with friends about their kids and we've let some relationships go because of children's bad behavior which is really bad manners on the parents part. If your child is throwing things at your guests, or shoving them or sitting in on conversations that don't pertain to them...then you have done a poor parenting job. I'm sorry, that's the way I see it.
My kids are not perfect and I know that. They misbehave plenty. But they know the boundaries and when Frank and I are sitting with another adult couple, my children have been taught that you say "excuse me" when you have something to say and that they need to find something else to do during that time. I mean, they have toys, TV's, movies and video games to play, why do they need to horn in on the rare times that we are hanging out with other adults.
I'm actually okay with not hanging out with these people...
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