So now I'm sad...

My boy moved out today.

He is settled in to his new place.

We helped him move all of his stuff which, surprisingly, took all three of our vehicles to move over.  Who knew?  We got his stuff over to the new house and he did not want our help in setting anything up.  He wanted to do it all himself.  I have to admit, I had a moment where I wanted to cry after he said it.  

I went out with some friends.  It was a great distraction.  Then I went back over there because he forgot some things and needed Frank to hang some shelves for him.  I cleaned up a bit around the place because honestly, it smelled like a sweaty armpit in there.  The other two guys have been living there for almost 3 weeks and it seems like nobody has washed a plate, taken out the trash or washed their clothes.

It was a little gross.

So tonight I'm sitting here, just wanting to cry but not do it in front of Frank.  I cried in the car, the bathroom, while cooking dinner.

All this time I've been joking with him that he's only going to be four minutes up the road and right now it feels a million miles away.

How did 19 years go by so fast?  Where is my little three year old boy who loved Thomas the Tank Engine and loved to spend time with me?  Through all of our laughter and tears and arguing and yelling, I thought that this was a good thing; I thought that this was what was supposed to be and all I know right now is that my heart hurts and I want to turn the clock back!  It's too soon!  I'm not ready!

I'm going to to and crawl in to bed and pretend that today didn't happen...